So its 2:30 in the morning I am working at the Hospital. It has been a crazy busy night and I am wired probably because my nerves are shot lol from working so much. I picked up some extra shifts and have been working everyday since I am taking a much needed, long awaited vacation for a week and a half!
Things have been good lately, all things considered I am pretty happy and looking forward to each new day as it comes! I am feeling pretty random and wanted to blog so I guess I'll blog whats on my mind lol!
Next week I was suppose to go down to St. George and Vegas for the week just to get away and do absolutely nothing while enjoying a nice break with my Mom. Well things and plans change and my mom has unexepectadely found out she is having a serious major surgery. She has been having pain in her stomach and they couldn't find anything wrong so they did tests and tests and sent her to different doctors. Finally they sent her to a Urologist and found something wrong with her Kidney. Pretty bad because if they didn't find what was wrong she could have lost her kidney. So her Doctor said he didn't want to even mess with it because of how serious it was so he is sending her here to Salt Lake City for surgery at LDS Hospital with the best specialist in Utah. She has some kind of lump on her kidney and it is affecting her liver so they are going to do the surgery as soon as possible next week.. not sure the exact diagnosis its complicated and confusing will have to have my mom run it by me again lol...
So this works out well I guess because I have 2 weeks off work and my mom will come up to SLC for the surgery and will be in the hospital for a couple of days then I will take care of her when she recovers. So we will spend some time together while in Salt Lake then after her surgery.
I still get to go to St. George though! a few days after the surgery I'm taking my mom home and will spend some R and R in St. George I can't wait!!!!! I am excited to attend the temple, get a hair cut and go back totally blonde! Its sad the only lady I trust to do my hair and color my hair lives in St. George so sometimes its long and few in between to wait for Tamara to do my hair she is amazing and I can't wait to be a blonde again!
Hmm... another random thought.. we bought a slip and slide and I was totally stoked! I haven't slip and slided for years so I was totally there! Well it was fun and I forgot you should probably be wet before sliding I slid dry the first time down and didn't get too far lol. Today the day after I am sore! I My muscles in my side hurt just a wee bit! but it was fun! I love the water and love being out in the sun I love summer!
I can't believe how true it is that people die in 3's. Working in Long Term care and with eldery people for quite a long time this was so true! When one person would die 2 more would follow sometimes within days sometimes within weeks but it would always usually happen in 3's I have been thinking about this a lot this past week with the 3 celebrities deaths. Everytime I turn on the T.V. its all about Michael Jackson and yes as shocking as it was its getting a little old over and over again.... I'm a little dissapointed that there hasn't been anywhere near the coverage of the other 2 celebrities ... Farrah Facet and Ed McMann. I feel these 2 people were respectable and just as well known as the other they deserve a little credit and recogntion too! I don't think their lives were filled as with much controversy and drama as Michael Jackson's they weren't perfect people but were in my book pretty decent people and good celebs. All 3 had their own legends....Farrah was an Icon and a legend in her own respect she fought a couragious and strong battle and I respect her for that... Ed McMann.. I think this old man was pretty great lol. I remember as a kid always hoping he would come to my house with that Million Dollar check after the Super Bowl from Publishers Clearing house. Thats How I remember him and that memory of always hoping for the Million makes me laugh. When I think about Michael Jackson I think alot of things was he misunderstood? maybe he was maybe not. I think he was wacko.....He definitely left his mark and his legend behind but it he was still here and alive today would he be the newsmaker like he is after his death or just some celebrity we laugh at and joke about...
That was a bit long and everyone is entitled to their own opinion!!! this is just mine and my blog! lol.
Tonight I read that Billy Mayes died! that was pretty sad and his death a random one and the beginning of the next 3 deaths in 3 maybe? He was kind of annoying but I'll miss his loud voice and enthusiasm about Oxy Clean and KaBoom etc... I'll miss his infomercials and hearty voice on T.V. lol:)
This past week I have definitely thought of these celebs and looked at my life. I have thought If I were gone what would people say about me? What is my legend I am making and leaving behind? I hope its a good one and the best one I can make. Who I am and who I am becoming is the most important thing in the world to me. Everything that I do is making a mark in my life or influencing someone somewhere and I want to make the most of every day and every single moment I am given....
I love this quote: My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet." Gandhi
Well there ya go kids! My random thoughts in the middle of the night. Maybe I am not thinking too cleary but one thing I know is that everything is funnier and a little more light hearted in the middle of the night I love those nights at work when we have fun and laugh at the silliest things it makes for a wonderful night! Good Night in 2 HOURS!!!!
Monday, June 29, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
"A Love Without End -Amen"
This song has such a special meaning to my family and I. This song is by George Strait. A little background. Being Fathers day this song brings tears to my eyes every time I listen to it or read the words. This song has meant so much to me. My Dads all time favorite singer was George Strait he loved seeing him in concert every year and this song was a special one to us. After losing my Dad as a family we listened to this song and it meant more to us than ever before the words were so true and so comforting and brought us a peace and a realization that a fathers love is forever and ever without end. I wanted to share the lyrics and on this Fathers Day Honor my Dad.
"Love Without End"
I got sent home from school one day with a shiner on my eye. Fightin' was against the rules and it didn't matter why. When dad got home I told that story just like I'd rehearsed. And then stood there on those tremblin' knees and waited for the worst.
And he said, "Let me tell you a secret about a father's love, A secret that my daddy said was just between us." He said, "Daddies don't just love their children every now and then. It's a love without end, amen, it's a love without end, amen."
When I became a father in the spring of '81 There was no doubt that stubborn boy was just like my father's son. And when I thought my patience had been tested to the end, I took my daddy's secret and I passed it on to him. And I said, "Let me tell you a secret about a father's love, A secret that my daddy said was just between us." He said, "Daddies don't just love their children every now and then. It's a love without end, amen, it's a love without end, amen."
Last night I dreamed I died and stood outside those pearly gates. When suddenly I realized there must be some mistake. If they know half the things I've done, they'll never let me in. And then somewhere from the other side I heard these words again. And he said, "Let me tell you a secret about a father's love, A secret that my daddy said was just between us." He said, "Daddies don't just love their children every now and then. It's a love without end, amen, it's a love without end, amen."
In Honor of my wonderful Dad who I forever love and miss with all of my heart. Dad, you are my hero for all you stood for and believed in and for your everlasting courage and enduring strength during your time here with us. I wish you were here to share one moment more or another day. Your memory lives forever in our hearts especially this day as we honor you and feel you nearer to us.
I know you are in a glorious place now surrounded in the loving arms of our father in Heaven. I know you are fulfilling your eternal mission teaching and sharing with those who seek the truth and light. You are also with those who love you as much as we do and that gives me comfort knowing you are all together.
I have hope of tomorrow and the love we will once share again forever. I miss your hugs and your gentle smile. Those memories of you are printed in my mind and my heart and everyday I know I am closer to seeing you again and sharing a love that will last until forever.
Thankyou for being my Dad. I am so blessed to have a fathers love that only you could give me. This day and everyday I love you and honor you. I will always remember you. A fathers love is a love without end, Amen.
I love you Dad, Happy Fathers Day.
"Love Without End"
I got sent home from school one day with a shiner on my eye. Fightin' was against the rules and it didn't matter why. When dad got home I told that story just like I'd rehearsed. And then stood there on those tremblin' knees and waited for the worst.
And he said, "Let me tell you a secret about a father's love, A secret that my daddy said was just between us." He said, "Daddies don't just love their children every now and then. It's a love without end, amen, it's a love without end, amen."
When I became a father in the spring of '81 There was no doubt that stubborn boy was just like my father's son. And when I thought my patience had been tested to the end, I took my daddy's secret and I passed it on to him. And I said, "Let me tell you a secret about a father's love, A secret that my daddy said was just between us." He said, "Daddies don't just love their children every now and then. It's a love without end, amen, it's a love without end, amen."
Last night I dreamed I died and stood outside those pearly gates. When suddenly I realized there must be some mistake. If they know half the things I've done, they'll never let me in. And then somewhere from the other side I heard these words again. And he said, "Let me tell you a secret about a father's love, A secret that my daddy said was just between us." He said, "Daddies don't just love their children every now and then. It's a love without end, amen, it's a love without end, amen."
In Honor of my wonderful Dad who I forever love and miss with all of my heart. Dad, you are my hero for all you stood for and believed in and for your everlasting courage and enduring strength during your time here with us. I wish you were here to share one moment more or another day. Your memory lives forever in our hearts especially this day as we honor you and feel you nearer to us.
I know you are in a glorious place now surrounded in the loving arms of our father in Heaven. I know you are fulfilling your eternal mission teaching and sharing with those who seek the truth and light. You are also with those who love you as much as we do and that gives me comfort knowing you are all together.
I have hope of tomorrow and the love we will once share again forever. I miss your hugs and your gentle smile. Those memories of you are printed in my mind and my heart and everyday I know I am closer to seeing you again and sharing a love that will last until forever.
Thankyou for being my Dad. I am so blessed to have a fathers love that only you could give me. This day and everyday I love you and honor you. I will always remember you. A fathers love is a love without end, Amen.
I love you Dad, Happy Fathers Day.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
1 Year
So life is pretty good right now. I absolutely love my job at Mckay-Dee Hospital. I could not ask for more my job has been such a blessing I love the hospital and the people I work with I have made new friends and learned so much already!
I am still the Nanny and loving it its been another blessing and I have loved using some of what I learned as a Child Development major to help the two precious kids I get to be a part of their lives.
So the past year my plans have been rearranged many times and haven't quite worked out how I wanted them to or expected them to but have always worked out how the Lord knew they would be the best for me and I would be the happiest and looking back on this year I see how right he always is and things have been paved in the right road that was right for me at this time in my life!
During my 5 years at BYU-Idaho I dreamed of being a Child Life Specialist at Primary Childrens Hospital in SLC. I was accepted into the program at the U of U. They have a weird/unique class schedule and I had to start in the summer in order to take the classes because certain ones are only taught in the fall only and others in the spring only so I had to start in the Summer. Well due to the blood clot and recovering from that and everything else I wasn't able to attend my classes last summer I was devastated.
So I am again reminded that things happen in the Lords time and the Lords way so here I am again sitting back and amazed at how well things work out for the best! Through much prayer and careful consideration and much pondering I am on a new and exciting course! In the fall I will be attending Weber State University in Ogden Utah. I will be studying Social Work! This is another blessing because there are 6 pre reqs. for the program and because I was a Sociology/Family Studies Minor at BYU-Idaho 3 of the classes will transfer saving me more time and the program will only take me 2 years since I already have my Bachelors Degree in Child Development.
I am really excited about this new opportunity and have reconsidered my options and goals and where I see myself going career wise. I love working in the medical field and love helping people and making a difference in their lives somehow. I have worked for Intermountain Healthcare for a little over a year now and would love to continue working here so there are many opportunities that await me here. I would love to be a Medical Social Worker and be a Crisis Worker or anything helping people. So we'll see where this takes me!
Along with changes in life I have been reflecting on lots of other things at this time.
Tomorrow June 14th should have been a great celebration of the day that my dreams of time and all eternity came true and the beginning of forever. I'm not going to dwell or go into detail but this has been on my mind alot lately this past week as I reflect on one year ago and where I am today because of it.June 14th last year was the happiest day of my life. It was beautiful and perfect and though many trials faced me to make it to that day I did make it and was able to enter the house of the Lord something I had prepared my entire life for. Here it is the eve of that amazing day one year later and I am no where near I ever imagined I would be a year ago. But looking back I have taken many great lessons with the falls and heartaches and I have been given my life back and learned lessons the hard way but the right way and my life is richly blessed for understanding why I have gone through everything and the purpose for it and who it has made me.I have experienced the greatest heartache imaginable but am amazed as I look at my life today and through much prayer in my behalf and much faith and trust in the Lord I can truly say I am happy and have great hope of what the future will bring for me. Yes there is much sadness there still and much regret but I don't dwell on it I learn from it and take each moment step by step and a moment at a time.I love the saying life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass it is about learning to dance in the rain. The rain has fallen many times this past year and I have danced in the pouring rain and at the end of the day the sun has always shined again and a rainbow has always shown me hope of a promise of a better day.
June 12th last year was a very significant day in my life and one I will never forget. I have never felt so close to my father in heaven as I did at that time. I remember it as clear as yesterday being taken to the Emergency Room in the middle of the night and being told that I had a blood clot that had within 12 hours had spread from my foot to my thigh and being told that if I hadn't come in when I did I might not have waken up the next morning. I still was in grave danger they watched me closely and there was the possibility that the clot could still break off and could have taken my life.I remember sitting there in the room at the ER. It was very quiet, the middle of the night there with my angel mother. We both cried and as the tears fell I was overcome with the spirit confirming to me that I was a daughter of God, he loved me and no matter what he would always take care of me, no matter what I was going through from the best days to the absolute worst which I was facing at that time. I knew there would be a chance that I would be taken from this life and I wasn't out of the woods yet.I remember telling my mom that it was okay and that I knew with all of my heart where I came from and why I was here and where I was going and that no matter what happened to me I would be okay. I knew if my mission at this time was complete that I would be in the arms of my loving Heavenly Father and my Dad again. I have never been more sure of something or felt more love than I did in those quiet early hours. I knew my parents loved me and I knew my family and friends loved me. I had recieved the blessings of the Temple and knew my life and mission are in the Lords Hands.
Having the blood clot and the problems it has caused after has all been part of a greater lesson to teach me and has humbled me. Luckily, I have made great progress in recovering from this blood clot. It still is a burden in my life today and will be for a long time. It is still painful and a constant reminder of what happened. I am thankful that my mission is to be here and to teach others and be an example to others. I am thankful for those hands who were blessed and inspired to take care of me and knew what care I needed and helped me to overcome this trial. I know everyday is a gift from God and each of our lives has a meaning and a purpose to do during our time here.
Last night at work I had a unique opportunity. I was floated to work in the Emergency Department. I thought it was an ironic thing as I realized it was exactly one year since the last time I was in the ER except this time I wasn't a Patient I was working there. It again brought back a lot of memories and made me smile a little.
I am sitting here writing this and memories of this past year are flooding my memory and my mind and though there is still sadness in a way there is also a calm, comforting feeling in my heart. I have a feeling of hope and of love and feel blessed for all that I have been given and for the amazing life I have lived. I wouldn't trade anything for the world.
What would life be without change and without another path that was better suited for us? We may not know all the answers and may have to ask why? many times and may not know the answers to all of our questions at the time or even in this life but I know without a doubt that things always work out the way it is suppose to. I am thankful for my life and for the love of others and for every single day I get to be me and become a little better than yesterday. Here is to another year and I hope to look back June 14, 2010 and reflect on this past year and again be reminded of the blessings and opportunities I have had in my life and where they have taken me.
I am still the Nanny and loving it its been another blessing and I have loved using some of what I learned as a Child Development major to help the two precious kids I get to be a part of their lives.
So the past year my plans have been rearranged many times and haven't quite worked out how I wanted them to or expected them to but have always worked out how the Lord knew they would be the best for me and I would be the happiest and looking back on this year I see how right he always is and things have been paved in the right road that was right for me at this time in my life!
During my 5 years at BYU-Idaho I dreamed of being a Child Life Specialist at Primary Childrens Hospital in SLC. I was accepted into the program at the U of U. They have a weird/unique class schedule and I had to start in the summer in order to take the classes because certain ones are only taught in the fall only and others in the spring only so I had to start in the Summer. Well due to the blood clot and recovering from that and everything else I wasn't able to attend my classes last summer I was devastated.
So I am again reminded that things happen in the Lords time and the Lords way so here I am again sitting back and amazed at how well things work out for the best! Through much prayer and careful consideration and much pondering I am on a new and exciting course! In the fall I will be attending Weber State University in Ogden Utah. I will be studying Social Work! This is another blessing because there are 6 pre reqs. for the program and because I was a Sociology/Family Studies Minor at BYU-Idaho 3 of the classes will transfer saving me more time and the program will only take me 2 years since I already have my Bachelors Degree in Child Development.
I am really excited about this new opportunity and have reconsidered my options and goals and where I see myself going career wise. I love working in the medical field and love helping people and making a difference in their lives somehow. I have worked for Intermountain Healthcare for a little over a year now and would love to continue working here so there are many opportunities that await me here. I would love to be a Medical Social Worker and be a Crisis Worker or anything helping people. So we'll see where this takes me!
Along with changes in life I have been reflecting on lots of other things at this time.
Tomorrow June 14th should have been a great celebration of the day that my dreams of time and all eternity came true and the beginning of forever. I'm not going to dwell or go into detail but this has been on my mind alot lately this past week as I reflect on one year ago and where I am today because of it.June 14th last year was the happiest day of my life. It was beautiful and perfect and though many trials faced me to make it to that day I did make it and was able to enter the house of the Lord something I had prepared my entire life for. Here it is the eve of that amazing day one year later and I am no where near I ever imagined I would be a year ago. But looking back I have taken many great lessons with the falls and heartaches and I have been given my life back and learned lessons the hard way but the right way and my life is richly blessed for understanding why I have gone through everything and the purpose for it and who it has made me.I have experienced the greatest heartache imaginable but am amazed as I look at my life today and through much prayer in my behalf and much faith and trust in the Lord I can truly say I am happy and have great hope of what the future will bring for me. Yes there is much sadness there still and much regret but I don't dwell on it I learn from it and take each moment step by step and a moment at a time.I love the saying life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass it is about learning to dance in the rain. The rain has fallen many times this past year and I have danced in the pouring rain and at the end of the day the sun has always shined again and a rainbow has always shown me hope of a promise of a better day.
June 12th last year was a very significant day in my life and one I will never forget. I have never felt so close to my father in heaven as I did at that time. I remember it as clear as yesterday being taken to the Emergency Room in the middle of the night and being told that I had a blood clot that had within 12 hours had spread from my foot to my thigh and being told that if I hadn't come in when I did I might not have waken up the next morning. I still was in grave danger they watched me closely and there was the possibility that the clot could still break off and could have taken my life.I remember sitting there in the room at the ER. It was very quiet, the middle of the night there with my angel mother. We both cried and as the tears fell I was overcome with the spirit confirming to me that I was a daughter of God, he loved me and no matter what he would always take care of me, no matter what I was going through from the best days to the absolute worst which I was facing at that time. I knew there would be a chance that I would be taken from this life and I wasn't out of the woods yet.I remember telling my mom that it was okay and that I knew with all of my heart where I came from and why I was here and where I was going and that no matter what happened to me I would be okay. I knew if my mission at this time was complete that I would be in the arms of my loving Heavenly Father and my Dad again. I have never been more sure of something or felt more love than I did in those quiet early hours. I knew my parents loved me and I knew my family and friends loved me. I had recieved the blessings of the Temple and knew my life and mission are in the Lords Hands.
Having the blood clot and the problems it has caused after has all been part of a greater lesson to teach me and has humbled me. Luckily, I have made great progress in recovering from this blood clot. It still is a burden in my life today and will be for a long time. It is still painful and a constant reminder of what happened. I am thankful that my mission is to be here and to teach others and be an example to others. I am thankful for those hands who were blessed and inspired to take care of me and knew what care I needed and helped me to overcome this trial. I know everyday is a gift from God and each of our lives has a meaning and a purpose to do during our time here.
Last night at work I had a unique opportunity. I was floated to work in the Emergency Department. I thought it was an ironic thing as I realized it was exactly one year since the last time I was in the ER except this time I wasn't a Patient I was working there. It again brought back a lot of memories and made me smile a little.
I am sitting here writing this and memories of this past year are flooding my memory and my mind and though there is still sadness in a way there is also a calm, comforting feeling in my heart. I have a feeling of hope and of love and feel blessed for all that I have been given and for the amazing life I have lived. I wouldn't trade anything for the world.
What would life be without change and without another path that was better suited for us? We may not know all the answers and may have to ask why? many times and may not know the answers to all of our questions at the time or even in this life but I know without a doubt that things always work out the way it is suppose to. I am thankful for my life and for the love of others and for every single day I get to be me and become a little better than yesterday. Here is to another year and I hope to look back June 14, 2010 and reflect on this past year and again be reminded of the blessings and opportunities I have had in my life and where they have taken me.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Each Life That Touches Ours For Good
After I lost my dad I was given this picture Journeys End I love this and it is one of my favorites I love the message with it...
“Come unto me in my kingdom; and with me ye shall find rest"
Lets all try and live each day with more meaning and purpose and live, laugh and love and be grateful for those who have touched our lives for good.
My heart has been very full today. I learned news that two people my Aunt and a friend from college both passed away today. Both of their passings though difficult for those who loved them and lost them are glorious reunions on the other side as they are now free from their earthly pain and fulfilled their missions and did all that they were required to do in this life and are now safe in the loving arms of our Heavenly Father.
This has just caused me to reflect on my own life and the relationships in my life. I am so blessed to have associations in my life with people who love me and that will always love me and be there for me.
There comes a time in each of our lives that we all must pass through the valley of sorrow and unbearable pain but we are blessed with the hope of knowing that the sun will always shine again and every day little by little things always have a way of working out how they are suppose to.
I just want to say I am grateful for those in my life who have touched my life for good and have left a piece of themselves forever in my heart. I look forward to the future and the glorious day when I can be forever with those I love the most.